


I Just Want To Be With You

by squirrelmort



Category: Free!
Genre: Asexuality, Asexy April, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-25
Updated: 2014-04-25
Packaged: 2018-01-20 17:36:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1519322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squirrelmort/pseuds/squirrelmort
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nagisa learns what kind of magazines Rei hides under his bed, and Rei learns a bit more about Nagisa.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Just Want To Be With You

**Author's Note:**

> I saw a couple Reigisa fics with an asexual Rei but never an asexual Nagisa, so I decided to give it a try. The dialogue from the first scene is from the second drama CD, track 9 "Rin's Room Visit." If you aren't familiar with the drama CDS, you should be, because they are fabulous. Written for Asexy April.

Bored of looking at all the pictures of Kou, Nagisa let his eyes wander around Rin’s room. “Huh? I see a magazine peeking out from under the bed!” He reached toward it only to have Rei grab his arm and pull him back.

“Nagisa-kun, don’t! You mustn’t touch that! There’s only one type of book that boys hide underneath their beds!”

Nagisa stared at Rei in confusion. “Like what?” The last book he had hidden under his bed was a manga his sisters thought was too girly—but surely Rei wasn’t suggesting that Rin was hiding girly stories, was he? Rin didn’t seem into that.

Surprised by Nagisa’s question, Rei mumbled, “Eh? That is… um…” He quickly looked away, exclaiming, “Don’t look at me with those eyes of pure innocence!”

At this point Makoto stepped in to back up Rei. Nagisa watched quietly while his friends argued whether or not to look at the secret magazine until Kou finally managed to squeeze past Rei and Makoto to pull it out and discover it was a copy of…

“Monthly Muscle Magazine,” Haruka read the title aloud.

“Eh?!” Nagisa said in time with Rei and Makoto. He had not been expecting that. He grabbed the magazine and flipped through the pages, commenting absently. Why was Rin hiding a muscle magazine? Rei and Makoto seemed as surprised as he was. What had they been expecting? What did they keep under their beds? Pushing his questions to the side, he instead focused on the love-letter he spotted.

When Mikoshiba walked in a few minutes later, revealing they were in the wrong room, the whole situation became a lot clearer. But as they left, Nagisa could not stop wondering what sort of books or magazines Rei-chan hid under his bed. He was determined to find out.

* * *

 

The next day Nagisa got his chance. They were studying in Rei’s room when Rei left to fetch some snacks. As soon as the door shut behind him, Nagisa rolled off Rei’s perfectly made bed (his usual study spot) and peeked underneath. Sure enough there was a short, neat pile of magazines. Double-checking the door, he carefully pulled the stack out from under the bed.

“Oh,” he whispered to himself. A scantily-clad woman stared back at him from the cover of the top magazine. “ _That’s_ what he was expecting.” He picked it up and placed it on the floor next to the pile. The next magazine was remarkably similar to the first. Feeling he had figured out the pattern, he checked the next one, and raised his eyebrows. A man in tight shorts and nothing else posed on the cover. Thinking about it, he wasn’t that surprised—he had caught Rei plainly staring at plenty of boys at tournaments, not to mention his own team mates. He was more surprised that Rei himself had noticed his attraction to boys.

Curious, he started flipping through the magazine and noticed that most of the guys were wearing even less than the one on the cover—quite a few wore nothing at all. He was examining a picture of a muscular brunette posing with his hand down the front of his tight briefs when he heard the door open. He turned to watch Rei come in and place the tray of food on the table.

“What are you…” Rei started before getting a look at the magazine in his friend’s lap. He froze.

“So this is the type of magazine you were talking about!” Nagisa smiled and closed the magazine. He stacked the magazines back up (though not as neatly as he had found them) and shoved them under the bed.

“Nagisa, I can explain.”

Nagisa eyed the snack tray. “Don’t you have any cookies?” He grabbed a cracker from the assortment of veggies, crackers, and cheese.

“That magazine was—”

“The type of thing you and Makoto were expecting in Rin’s room, right?” Nagisa interrupted, popping some cheese in his mouth. “Sorry for looking, but you guys weren’t answering my question, so I figured I better check myself.”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Rei responded automatically. Nagisa stuck out his tongue and grabbed another cracker, purposefully avoiding the vegetables. Rei just stood there for another moment before quietly sitting next to his friend and going back to his math homework. They continued to study, Nagisa regularly complaining about their homework, as usual, while Rei tried to pretend the whole porn incident had never happened.

* * *

 

Rei continued to feel nervous for several days, scared that Nagisa might bring his porn up at any moment. To his relief, Nagisa acted like nothing had happened and said nothing, so Rei finally started to relax. He was surprised to find Nagisa at his door one Saturday morning around 11:00—he knew Nagisa usually slept past noon if given the chance.

“Would you like to go for a walk?” Nagisa asked.

“Yeah, sure,” Rei responded. He grabbed his jacket and his wallet (he had gotten used to buying Nagisa ice cream when they were out) and put on his shoes before stepping outside.

They wandered around the park for a while, Nagisa chattering about this and that—Mako-chan’s time had really improved, Gou-chan was trying to get ideas for how to recruit members. Suddenly Nagisa stopped and stared out at the lake. “Rei-chan?”

“Yes?”

“Do you think this place is beautiful?”

Rei looked around. With fall here, many of the trees had already lost most, if not all, of their leaves. Orange and red covered the ground, with a few leaves floating on the water. “I’ve always found autumn to have its own particular beauty, and there is something rather serene about lakes, as long as I don’t have to be in them. Why do you ask?”

“I really like this spot.” Nagisa paused before continuing. “Rei-chan… do you think I’m beautiful?”

Rei blushed and looked down at his friend, he stared back at him with—was that hope? He took in Nagisa’s wide eyes, the way the brisk air added a bit of pink to his cheeks, and sighed. He already knew the answer. “Yes, Nagisa, you’re beautiful.”

Nagisa lit up at this response. “Would you like to go on a date?”

“What?”

Nagisa grabbed his hand and started dragging him in the direction of the train station. “Come on, there’s a new movie I want to see.”

“O-okay.” Rei followed, still surprised but happy to realize that, apparently, Nagisa felt the same way about him as he felt about Nagisa.

* * *

 

After the movie Nagisa dragged Rei around for most of the day. They went shopping, spent time at the arcade, walked around town. It wasn’t really all that different from how they usual spent their weekends, except Nagisa insisted on paying for Rei’s movie ticket and dinner (he let Rei pay for dessert), and Rei didn’t protest when Nagisa cuddled up to him in the movie theater or held his hand while they walked.

The temperature dropped as they walked home, which provided Rei with an excuse to wrap his arm around Nagisa’s shoulders. Rei walked Nagisa to his door ( _he’ll be too cold if I don’t_ , Rei reasoned). When they got there Nagisa immediately turned in Rei’s hold to wrap both arms around Rei and bury his face in the taller boy’s chest. Rei was slightly startled but let his other arm wrap around Nagisa.

“That was fun,” Nagisa said, lifting his face to look at Rei. “I’m glad you said ‘yes’.”

_I’m just glad you don’t think I’m weird for liking boys_. “Me, too,” Rei responded. Nagisa grinned. Rei started to panic. _Do I kiss him now? Does he kiss me? It always seems so much simpler in books. Ok, I’m going to kiss him_.

Rei started to lean down but was too slow; Nagisa dropped his face again, nuzzling his head against Rei’s chest. “Good night, Rei.” Nagisa slipped out of Rei’s embrace and into his house.

Rei watched the door close, cursing himself for being so slow. _I should’ve taken action. He wanted me to take action. I think._

Nagisa hurried to his room and threw himself on his bed. _Shit_.

* * *

 

The next day Nagisa awoke to a text from Rei. “Do you want to study?”

Nagisa stared at his phone. _He wants to talk about last night. No use putting it off._ “K.”

“My place?”

“Sure. Be there soon.” Nagisa hit send and rolled out of bed to get dressed.

* * *

 

Twenty minutes later Nagisa and Rei were in Rei’s room. Rather than sprawling on Rei’s bed, Nagisa sat on the floor in front of Rei’s small table and got out a textbook. They studied in silence for all of a minute before Rei said something. “I’m sorry about last night.”

“What?”

“I wanted to kiss you but I panicked and—”

“No, I panicked.”

Now it was Rei’s turn to ask, “What?”

“I thought I wanted to kiss you but then it actually came time to and I—I couldn’t.”

Rei’s heart sank. “Oh.” _He doesn’t like me like I like him_.

“I’m so sorry, Rei-chan.”

Rei was too numb to notice Nagisa’s tears. “Is it just me, or do you just not like boys in general?”

“It’s complicated… I like you.”

Rei looked up. “Then why…”

“I’m asexual!” Nagisa blurted out. Rei blinked. “Or at least I think I am. And I thought I was aromantic, too, but then I met you and everything got so confused.” Rei vaguely remembered reading about asexuality back when he realized he was bisexual (and felt the need to research all orientations), but he had mostly ignored it because he realized it didn’t pertain to him. He had never considered that Nagisa—the boy who was constantly touching him, who would happily use sex appeal to get what he wants, who was never afraid to make inappropriate comments, who, though Rei would never admit it, featured in several of Rei’s personal fantasies—would be the reason this knowledge would be useful.

“Nagisa-kun…”

“I’ve never felt this way about someone. You’re my Rei-chan. I like spending time with you. I like to listen to you talk. I like to look at you.” Nagisa wiped the tears off his face, but they were quickly replaced by new ones. “I like to hug you and hold your hand and cuddle while watching movies. But I don’t want to have sex or anything. I just want to be with you. I think about you all the time.”

“Nagisa…”

“And I think I _might_ want to kiss you but I’m not sure. And what if do kiss and then I realize I don’t really like it? Then you’ll have to dump me and I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to be alone. I love you, Rei-chan.”

Rei finally managed to speak over his babbling friend. “Nagisa, it’s ok!” He had moved so he was next to Nagisa as he handed him tissue.

Nagisa blew his nose. “I’m sorry.”

“I love you, too.”

“But you want sex.”

Rei blushed. Nagisa was always so blunt. “Not right now…”

“But someday. That’s why you have those magazines, right? They do nothing for me. Like, I know they look nice, but I feel _nothing_. But you like them don’t you?”

“Can we not talk about my porn?”

“But you are into that. You’re into sex, and I’m not.” Nagisa quickly added, “I mean, maybe someday if you want to we could try it. I’m sure you could make it beautiful. And maybe I’ll change my mind. I—”

“ _Nagisa_ ,” Rei interrupted, grabbing him by the shoulders. “It’s ok. We can deal with… that later.”

“Even if I never want sex?”

“I would rather be with you not having sex than not be with you.”

Nagisa smiled. “Rei-chan, you’re so cheesy.” Rei’s blush deepened. “It’s cute.” Nagisa leaned over to nuzzle Rei’s shoulder. “And, you know, perhaps someday I will want sex. I mean, I never thought I would fall in love, but then I met you. Maybe I’m grey-asexual or something.” Nagisa started to giggle. “Maybe I’m _Rei_ -sexual.”

Rei groaned. “You think _I’m_ cheesy?”

Nagisa laughed harder. “But that’s enough about labels.” He smiled in a way that made Rei nervous. “Would you like to try kissing? I think it might be fun.”

Rei was sure his entire face was red by now.


End file.
